Eyes and Fears

About a couple weeks ago, daddy E had a dinner date with his childhood friends. Roo woke up from his late afternoon nap, and insisted that he wants to meet his daddy’s friends too. So we tagged along.

We were a little late.  J and her family were already in the restaurant when we arrived. Introductions began, and J was exclaiming over how cute Roo was, when without warning, he burst out crying! The loud kind of bawling, like he’s really scared!

He’s like that, my Roo. There are people who make him cry for reasons even he doesn’t know. We also can’t figure out what it is, but it happens only with certain people and only when these certain strangers give him too much attention.

Anyways, so daddy E had to take him out and talk to him. When they came back, he was calm, but the moment J’s husband looked at him, he burst into tears again! Okay, so J’s husband is rather huge, and he's sporting a beard, but it still can’t be the reason. There were other big strangers with beards who approached him before, and he warmed up to them right away. Carried on a conversation with them without any fuss.

Daddy E had no choice but to carry the frightened boy out again, and calm him down.

The next time they came in, Roo had his eyes tightly shut. Poor boy. Apparently, he told his daddy that he was afraid of them friends, so his dad suggested that he close his eyes and not look at them. And the little Roo took his daddy’s advice to heart. He made sure he had his back on daddy’s friends, and he desperately tried to keep his eyes close. Even when I was feeding him, he opened his mouth dutifully to eat the food, but his eyes remained shut.

In many ways, I am so like Roo—keeping my eyes close because I’m afraid of something or someone. Enduring the dark because I don’t want to face whatever it is I’m scared of. Missing out on a lot of fun because I can’t look at my fear in the face and tell it off. Like driving for instance. It has been more than three years since I got rear-ended while driving, but I still can’t get myself to drive again. More so after Roo was born. I’m terrified of driving alone with my precious son, scared of what can happen on the road. So most of the time, we either stay at home til daddy E is available to drive us around, or we take a taxi.

If only I can get enough courage to face my fears and get behind the steering wheel again…

I should learn.  Like Roo.  He eventually got over his fear, and opened his eyes, albeit slowly and with great caution. Before the evening was over, he was playing with Kaila, J’s daughter, and was dodging his huge uncle’s tickles.

Let's Play Pretend

Daddy E came home sick yesterday. It could be the flu, he’s has body ache, feet ache, and shoulder pains. Or it could be from playing basketball the other day—he hasn’t played ball for quite a long time. Anyways, as soon as he got in the door, he announced that he wasn’t feeling well, searched the med bag for paracetamol, then went to bed.

Roo, quite disappointed that daddy E couldn’t play with him, entertained himself because mommy K was busy cooking. Right after dinner, mommy K started sneezing, and sneezing, and whatever it was that was causing it, couldn’t be washed away so mommy K had to take antihistamine to stop it. Feeling rather drowsy after a few minutes, mommy K lay down on the bed to rest.

Roo: Mommy, are you okay?

Mommy K: I’m not feeling well.

Roo: I’ll take care of you, okay, mommy. Wait here okay, I’ll get petamo for you. (Roo runs out of the bedroom)

Mommy K: What’s that you’re getting mommy, Roo?

Roo: (coming back in) I’m getting petamo for you, mommy.

Mommy K: What’s petamo?

Roo: (Very slowly) Pe-ta-mo.

Mommy K: Hmm, I don’t know what that is.

Roo: (Louder this time and even more slowly) PE – TA – MO!

Mommy K: Pe-ta-mo. I’m sorry but I don’t know what that is, anak.

Roo: (starting to get exasperated) PE – TA – MO! Like daddy, mommy, I want you to feel better!

Mommy K: Oh! You mean, pa-ra-ce-ta-mol! You are so thoughtful, anak! Thank you, but mommy already took medicine, I don’t need paracetamol.

Roo: (disappointed) Oh. Then…(brightens up) just pretend petamo, okay, mommy?  I'll get pretend petamo for you!

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Roo: Daddy, can we play school?

Daddy: (still feeling rather sick) I don’t really know how to play school, Roo. Daddy is a doctor, I’m not a teacher like mommy.

Roo: (in his most convincing voice) Pretend, daddy! You can pretend to be a teacher, daddy!

Roo in His New Home

So we've moved!  We've settled in our new nest and everything's almost in order.  Good thing we found room for all our stuff or we would have either tossed the boxes out of our porch and feigned innocence (okay, I know that's not right, but for a while the temptation to do that was quite strong), or Daddy E and I would have been forced to get rid of all our sentimental junk.  

We praise God that Roo has adjusted very well here. For a while he had us worried because he had severe eczema—triggered, his daddy E diagnosed, by stress. It bothered him mostly at night when his hands and feet would get very itchy and he couldn’t sleep! He prayed hard about that one, prayed for healing even when asking for blessing on his food. And God is good! He got over it the week we moved, and he’s been itch-less since! 



Here’s a picture of Roo in his new hangout. He just loves this place! He likes it that he has a lot of space for triking, running around, jumping, swimming, and exploring. Every time we’re out and we tell him it’s time to head for home, he has to ask, “Home to WT?” When he hears an affirmative answer, he has no objections, he’d just flash us a big and contented smile. Thank God, Roo is happy in his new home!



And that's him with Gianni, his new playmate.  He looks forward to playtimes with Gianni and gets so disappointed when their nap schedules conflict and they can't play together.

Homesick.

It always happens that way. Just when I think I'm okay and not pining for home anymore, it comes banging its ugly head on me. Unexpectedly.

Last night, Daddy E inherited my sis' old phone memory stick because a friend gave her a new one for her birthday. And while we were getting ready to sleep, Roo was jumping around and bouncing on the bed as usual, Daddy E decided to play some music from my sis' mp3 files. I don't even know the artist, some Kris Lawrence guy if I remember it right, but as soon as the Tagalog ballad hit my ear, pangs of homesickness rear ended me.  Made me miss home. Suddenly, I wished I was in the Philippines.

Daddy E, totally unaware of what was going on inside me, started saying, "So good to listen to Tagalog songs again, ‘no? Makes me feel like I’m in Manila again, riding the jeepney.”

I said, “Let’s go home!” And he’s like, “Yeah! Forget about going to Japan" (we’ve been planning to visit Japan). And Roo was like, “But mommy, we’re home! This is our home!”

Yes, I feel at home here. And my home is now here with Daddy E and Baby Roo. But my heart will always yearn for that place—no matter how far I go, or how long I stay away, that place I know as home, will always be home.

City Boy Roo

Baby Roo loves to act out Bible stories. This morning, while I was engrossed in my emails, he rode his trike up to me, got off and tapped me on the arm.

Baby Roo: Is there room for us?

Mommy K (not quite sure which story he's doing this time): Wait, who are you pretending to be?

Baby Roo: Joseph.

Mommy K: Oh, ok. (Changing to the innkeeper's voice) I'm sorry but we have no more room available. But you can stay in the stable over there.

Baby Roo: Is there parking there?

Mommy K (half-listening, half-reading): What?

Baby Roo: Is there parking at the stable?

Mommy K (trying hard to keep a straight face): For your donkey? Oh yes!

Baby Roo: Okay, thank you. Bye. Clip-clop-clip-clop...(triking to the direction of the stable)

Five seconds later...

Baby Roo: Yaaaay! I found parking!!!

Milkfish, Bangus, Bangrus

"Mommy, I want to eat bangus". He just tasted it once and he liked it! Now Roo is asking for more. Unfortunately, bangus is scarce here in Bangkok. I don’t think Thai people eat it. You won’t find it in the menu of Thai restaurants. It’s seldom sold in the wet market, and when it is, it disappears very fast because Pinoys here buy it in kilos!  You can buy it in Foodland only once a week.  "If only we’re in Roxas anak, we can eat bangus anytime you like".

For more than half of my growing up years, bangrus we call them, was a staple food at home. My dad grew them in fishponds, and we saw them grow from really tiny fry (when they’re like strands of hair swimming around) to really big ones (I think the biggest one I saw was about one kilo per piece) that are ready for harvest.

Harvest times were exciting times! Besides the fact that daddy would get to earn money, when we get to go to the fishpond, we had a lot of fun watching the bantays (caretakers) round up the fish, catch them, count them and store them in ice chests. What was even more fun was eating the bangus that the bantay’s wife cooked in woodfire, with the wind blowing on our face! Whether it’s fried or grilled (both really good with vinegar and chilli by the way), relleno, paksiw, or sinigang, fresh bangus really sells well in our family. We don't care that this fish is bony--we know where the not-so bony part is, hehe.  We would always race to get that part first because that’s the easiest to eat, and it's the most yummy.  The black stomach section is devoured in seconds :D  If you're late, poor you, you will have to be patient and careful with the very fine bones of what remains of the fish.

All this talk about bangus is making me hungry.  Can hardly wait to check in Foodland this week if they have it.  That is, if I can remember what day it's available.

Troubles & Prayers

I've always dreaded receiving bad news in the mornings. It's like I can take it any time of the day better than when I just woke up. Today I woke up earlier than usual because I heard a message beep on my phone, and also because we need to move some stuff to our new place. Daddy E greeted me with bad news: Ate Weng met an accident, she has intercranial bleeding and they're asking for prayers.

Stunned, I dropped down on the couch and sent up pleading prayers to the Great Healer. If I was anywhere near her, I would be rushing to go to the hospital, or I would call Eric right away to find out how she is. But she's like on the other side of the world, and I don't have her husband's number! Still in a daze, I walked to the kitchen and cooked rice. Have to do something, can't just sit and worry. My body went on to do the routine morning chores. Wash Roo's bottles. Load the wash.

Good thing Shirly is online. She just finished talking to Eric and updated me on the latest: MRI showed no bleeding, she has head trauma, hip fracture and punctured lungs. Good news! No bleeding! The Great Physician is already at work, I believe more miracles are on the way!

Wait. Roo is up and calling for me.

I relayed the news to my son. He listened quietly then knelt down and prayed: Dear Jesus, thank you for healing Auntie Weng. Roo has been teaching me lessons on faith. When he prays for something, he believes God will grant it, it always starts with "Thank you..." His faith is simple and he holds an excellent record for "Answered Prayers." After praying, he doesn't fret or worry about it anymore; he gets up and gets on with his play.

Let's keep praying for Ate Weng. And her husband Eric. They're in Arizona, far from family. I hope their friends will be there for them.