Heartwarming.

I wish I can say that I feel a lot better now. But no. As the days go on, my NVP gets even worse. No matter how small my food intake have been, or how frequent/infrequent, I just can't keep food in. Not even water. Even just a sip of water sends me back to the toilet. I've been subsisting on Gatorade for electrolytes. I'm relying on stored nutrients, and perhaps stored fats too, to nourish my growing baby.

Through it all, suffice it to say that I'm becoming weak. And more irritable. God be merciful to me, I don't mean to cry through this difficult time, much less in front of my son. My son, my little angel from heaven, has been very mature through it all, even more mature than his mommy these times, I must say. Every time he sees me heading to the toilet, he'd immediately drop his play, slip into the bathroom door, and before I know it, he'd be patting my back, asking "Are you okay, Mommy?" "I'm here for you, Mommy." At really difficult times when my nausea gets so bad that I'd forget myself and snap back at him or his daddy, he'd say in his most patient and sweet voice, "Mommy, we don't want the baby to hear that kind of voice, remember?" Then last night, when I had just about given up on eating because everything was just coming back out, he cuddled and sweet-talked me all the way to eating the porridge that his daddy couldn't convince me to try. My angel from heaven, my little Roo.

God did not promise us sunshiney days all the time. But through the rainy ones, he provides help. He gives comfort. His grace is ever-present. Just as my son was leaving for church this morning, he gave me a kiss, and then left me with a get-well note that he had painstakingly folded into an envelope: "Mommy, when you feel sad, just open my card, okay? I love you."

I may be not be in tip-top shape right now, but you can bet my heart is all smiles.

Expecting.

I've never seen a happier boy. We were in Pattaya, and on our way to the pharmacy to buy the preg test, our son, ever-inquisitive, asked all the questions as to where, what, why we were making a special trip to the pharmacy. We explained everything, and so when he finally saw the two lines on the strip, joy filled his face. He was so happy, ecstatic that God had heard his prayers for a baby.

Me, I'm still in a daze. Literally. The days have been a blur, the toilet has become my best friend, relieving me of nausea. With my first pregnancy, I was sick in the mornings only. This time, it's all day, and most of the night. My boys have been very supportive, very caring, and I'm thankful for them.

Hope this phase won't last long. I have to think positive. For now, I shall eat, and eat, and eat, even if it means having to let it all out, only to start eating all over again.

This too shall pass.