One Year

Life is great. God is good! Can't complain about anything. My boys and I are in good health, and we continue to enjoy each other's company.

Life would even be more beautiful, I think, if my mommy was still with us. A year ago, we buried her. A year ago, a part of my heart died. And I still miss her terribly. At night, when all is quiet and I lay awake listening to the rhythmic snoring of my special boys, hot tears still flush and sorrow still clutches my heart. I think of the days when she was here, when I had her to tell every detail of what happens with my Roo, when my dad still had that twinkle in his eyes. There are times it gets so hard to accept that she's gone that I have to shake myself to remember that. A part of me still want to believe she's just there at home. I still wish I can just pray and she will come back to life.

But like they say, this is life. We are here for a moment, then we're gone. That is precisely why I want to live each moment to the fullest. No telling when my time will come. Whenever that will be, I glory in the hope I have in Jesus--there's eternal life waiting for me at the end of this all. And there I will never have to say goodbye to any of my loved ones. No more parting there.

Oh what a day that will be!

First.

Today is the day my little Roo has been eagerly waiting for since he turned three. Today, my little boy started his first violin lesson. It was hard to tell though who was more excited: the boy or the mommy. ;D Excitement mixed with stress for me, as I decided to drive to the music studio, unsure whether there would be available parking, and whether we'd make it there on time. Plus the fact that the parent is asked to sit in the lesson, and become a student herself, so she can guide and help with the homework.

Traffic was kinda bad on the way going there. We had a dry run of the route last Sunday, but today I found out that more cars take that route on weekdays so I would have to leave earlier next week. We arrived at Miracle Mall with about twenty minutes to spare, and Roo and I walked to the supermarket for water to kill time.

First thing Khru Om taught Roo was how to bow. Then she showed him two positions: rest and play positions. The rest of the time focused on bowhold. The way she explained the bowhold was very interesting for the little boy. She had bunnies hopping, chocolate-stirring, and kangaroo-hopping that kept the boy smiling and engaged throughout the lesson. She made sure too that the mommy learn it all.

Well, who knows. I just might be buying my own violin soon too :D

Still Here...

Many stories, no time to write. Or maybe I have time but no inspiration. Or maybe I'm just too busy at facebook. :D

Hope you're all well. Hope to update soon.

Questions and Answers. Lessons on Life.

My charge is busy. He is playing barber to one of his teddy bears. Might as well let him do that--who knows he'll end up being a barber. Instead of a farmer. While I write something. Which is hard to do when the barber throws question after question at me while snipping hair away. Mommy, what are the polar bear's enemies? What living things live indoors? Where do they sell tadpoles? Why are rain clouds black?

These days, the questions are getting more and more difficult to answer. Good thing there's google. Roo never stops asking, and if he's not doing that, he's telling you something he just learned. The times he's quiet, it still is never quiet--it's like I can almost hear the wheels of his mind churning, processing something that he's going to ask next, or talk about next.

And so, since he's always speaking his mind, we've been teaching him about tact. My kid as candid as he is, sometimes can say things that are not tactful, or polite. Like one time, his grandma and grandpa gave us alkaline water, and he didn't like the taste of it, so the next time they said they were coming to give us some more, he burst out, "But I don't like alkaline water!" Bringing him aside, I talked to him and told him that it's great that he's telling the truth, that he didn't lie about it, but that sometimes, it's good to keep some things we don't like to ourselves. So that people don't get hurt. I said next time it would be nice if he can just say thank you, even if he doesn't like what someone's giving him, just so that person would be happy.

He took that lesson to heart. When his grandparents came, he didn't say a word about the water. But he got back at me a while later. His daddy called, and I informed the daddy that the little boy didn't sleep. That meant one thing. He won't get a treat from his daddy. While mulling over his misfortune, he walked over to the kitchen gate, called my attention, and said, "Mommy, that was not really a nice thing to say to daddy. It's true that I didn't sleep, but that wasn't nice of you to tell daddy that. Now I don't feel happy."

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some rescuing to do. The bear doesn't look too happy, and my son is all covered with bear hair.

TSMSS - NO More Night

If ever there's a song that makes my eyes get all teary-eyed and my hope in Christ become so strongly felt, it's this song. "No More Night" is one song that makes me wish life in this earth can just fast-forward, and we can get to the finale. My heart longs for that day when there will be "no more night, no more pain (oh yeah!), no more tears (I cry when I get to this part ;), never crying again... praises to the great I AM, we will live in the light of the RISEN LAMB!"

I share this song with you guys out there. We are approaching that day, may we all look forward to that beautiful day with fervent hope and faith. We shall all SOON be together-- happy and joyous with our loving Saviour! For more songs of inspiration, please visit Amy's blog.

Separation Anxiety Schmiety.

Haha! So much for the sound sleep I was imagining I'd have last night. Yesterday, my son's bed was delivered, and he was so excited about it that he didn't even ask to be cuddled to sleep. To my astonishment, he didn't even want me to get on his new bed! Yup, Roo is almost four, and all this time since he was about six months old, we've been co-sleeping. And yes, that's the reason why I haven't slept well all these years too! I am not much of a sleeper, as many of you already know, and having a growing boy cuddle next to me night after night, aggravates the problem. I just cannot sleep when someone's cuddling with me. I always have to wait till he's fast asleep then I detach myself from him. And if not cuddle, it's kicking that I get. Not intentionally of course, but still that's enough to wake me up and bring me back to square one on the sleeping process. How I wish I was like his dad who can sleep through all his cuddling, kicking, and whatever else!

So when Roo agreed to finally have his own bed, and sleep in his own bed, you bet I rejoiced! Suddenly there was light at the end of the tunnel for me. I might just get to re-experience what it's like to sleep soundly again. To be able to sleep through the night without a tiny hand tugging at my pajamas, or fumbling for my arms. Or be awakened by a kick in the face as the little creature beside me changes position as he revels in his dreams.

Nah-uh. Why?

Because...when my exhausted little Roo finally got sleepy, he asked his daddy to cuddle with him instead! That's when the sensitive, sentimental part of the mommy gave in. Suddenly, I had this overwhelming sense of sadness. Kind of similar to how I felt when I weaned him and stopped breastfeeding. Oh I wasn't prepared to be un-needed like that! I think when God created me the mommy, he inserted that emotional liking to being needed as part of my mommy survival kit. And now, my baby who started out as a blob physically attached to me, who used to be so helpless without me, suddenly could exist without me! It's like my heart went for a walk, and I'm not sure if it's ever coming back! Whoah! Now I have an idea how I'd feel when my son leaves home for college! I'm going to an emotional wreck! Help!

Sigh. One step at a time, dear. Got to get myself ready for the first day of school first. Oh wait, sorry. Got to get myself used to him sleeping in his own bed first. Almost forgot about that. You see, he woke up in the middle of the night, and found his way back in my arms. Who talked about losing so much sleep? Nah, not me. Not anymore! Call me sentimental. Call me a freak. But I'm a mommy. I'd gladly lose more sleep for now, just so I can have a few more nights to cuddle. Because for all I know, when the moment's gone, it's gone. When he discovers nights without sleeping beside mommy not that bad after all, I might never be able to coax him to come back and tug at me. Even for just one more cuddle.

With the Dolphins

We made it to the Dolphin Lagoon ten minutes before the show was scheduled to begin. The tickets cost $22.90/person, and includes admission to the Underwater World. The lagoon was quiet, although most of the front seats were already occupied. We walked over to the last few remaining front seats towards the left side of the shaded area, and got all settled in.

Bubbling with excitement, Roo could hardly wait to see the dolphins. Mommy, when will the dolphins come? This he asked every two seconds. In between, he fired question after question about dolphins, where they'll be swimming from, what they eat, etc, etc. Pretty soon, the loudspeaker blared with music. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the show will begin in five minutes!

The dolphins were introduced and the show host provided a narrative of information about them. The audience was also informed of ways they can help preserve the environment to help save the lives of the dolphins. Throughout the show, the dolphins performed and regaled the audience with their natural behaviours, i.e. singing, jumping out of the water, tail-flapping, showing how fast they can swim, etc. Although I've seen dolphin shows where the dolphins did more tricks, there was something about the Sentosa version that was charming and endearing in its way. Perhaps it had to do with the more natural environment where the dolphins were located, and also because of the way Sentosa made me more aware of what I can do to lengthen and preserve the lives of these mammals.

Right from the start, Roo kept asking if he could ride them dolphins. He wanted so badly to get near them. So when the host announced that you can get a chance to touch the dolphins for $15/two people, my little boy lost no time in coaxing me to go buy him that opportunity. We joined the crowd at one side of the lagoon, and waited for our turn to touch Splash, the pink dolphin.

There were a few rules to abide by: Disinfect your hands with the bacterial sanitizer. Don't hang your shades or hat, wear them. Don't get too close to the dolphin. Pat or touch only the designated part of the dolphin, don't touch the head.

It was too short a visit with Splash, but I think Roo and I will always remember that moment! Splash stayed very still as we patted his back, and he bopped his head in and out of the water the whole time. It was an exhilarating experience to get that close to an animal that I've always been fascinated with! That was a very special time for me and with my little boy!