Careers and Changes

Way, way back in grade school, I wanted to be a doctor.  Or a lawyer.  Well, I thought I did.  

Fast forward to the early part of my senior year in high school, I made my choice.  I can NOT be a lawyer because of my moral convictions.  So a doctor I will be.  I applied to a university to take Medical Technology as my premed course and got accepted.

A few weeks before going off to college, I visited a sick relative in the hospital.  While walking down the hospital ramp, I suddenly realized that I can NOT  be a doctor either!  Why, I hardly even want to go to hospitals even just for short visits!  How much more show up for work there every single day of my working life??!

I might as well have played the eenie-meeni-minie-mo from there on.  I didn't have a single clue where to go. What to do.  It was too late to apply anywhere else, and I didn't know what to apply for anyway!

Well, fortunately for me, my grades were high enough to be exempt from the entrance exams in one university.  So, enrollment day, I walked through the gates of Central Philippine University (CPU) ready to enroll in college.  As to what college, I was clueless.  Hmm, let's see.  I'm quite good with numbers, so maybe I can do well in Engineering?  

Yeah, why not!  I got excited at that thought.  I had finally come up with something. I walked to the college of engineering, took one look, and backed out.  The whole building was full of men!  They might as well have posted a big sign on the entrance saying, "For MEN only!"  I don't know what came to me, usually I like hanging out with guys, especially the funny and intellectually-stimulating ones, but the sight of a whole building teeming with people of the opposite sex only, kind of scared me.  Or was it because I did not see any of the good-looking ones?  Could be. ;D

Anyways, so I ended up enrolling in the College of Accountancy.  From day one, I got caught up with the challenge of staying in the program.  They had this rigid screening which downsized seven sections of bright-eyed, enthusiastic freshmen, to just one class of forty-something seniors.  Seniors who walked around campus with their calculators and worksheets. Oh but if you think those college days were all about debits and credits,  you're wrong! I had a lot of fun learning how to skip classes (see this post), sometimes just to hang out; other times to watch guys play soccer or baseball at the field!  Oh, and did I mention I did meet some cute guys from the engineering department in some of my classes? ;D

The happy ending to that part of my story is that I never got to practice Accounting.  The winds of fate blew me across the ocean and I found myself working with people who didn't understand a word I was said.  I could have talked in Ilonggo (that's my dialect) with them and they wouldn't have known the difference! They were insurance adjusters, and they needed help writing and editing their English reports.  I forced myself to learn all the engineering stuff I should have learned in CPU.  My engineer colleagues had to explain to me how they build roads and buildings. I had to wear that hard hat as I visited oil refineries and cement factories.  Now, you can ask me to write a short story, or a journal entry, and I can somehow conjure a presentable tale, and a balanced debit/credit, but when it comes to machineries and equipment, you must understand that my mechanical aptitude test showed borderline idiocy!  How I managed to write reports on construction, machineries and equipment, how they were damaged and repaired, is still beyond me!  Those were miracles that God performed everyday for two long years!

Whew! Don't you just wish the story stops there?  I do.  This saga is getting long.  But if you're still with me, you will smile when you discover what I will have been doing next.  You see, many, many years ago, I told myself that the last thing I would ever think of doing, is teaching.  And yes, you guessed it right.  I became a teacher!  It wasn't something that came overnight.  Oh no!  It was a long and tedious process, I now think, of the Holy Spirit working in me, and changing me into someone He wanted me to be in the first place.  You see, I've never really asked God what He designed me to be.  It was always about myself.  What I wanted to be, and what I dreamt to be.  When it was supposed to be, what He thought it best for me to be.

So a teacher I became for five wonderful years!  I love kids and being with them, and seeing them grow and learn, was such a delight!  The job kept me busy all day, and sometimes all night (that's when I dream about lesson plans, and disciplinary stuff).  I saw myself blossom and grow with the kids.  I tackled the challenge of engaging their growing minds and facilitating their learning with interesting and relevant life lessons.  I learned patience.  I showed love.  I experienced grace.

Little did I know that God was preparing me for something more wonderful and amazing. Motherhood. Before I became a mother, I had thought that teaching was the most tiring, most exhausting, yet most fulfilling job there is.  I was wrong.  Mommying a little baby who hardly slept when he was newborn made me experience and know the meaning of the words, tired and sleepless.  Let me tell you though that this 24/7 job, with no day-off and no sick leave, has made me the happiest person alive!  No words can describe the feeling that wells up within me when my boy looks up at me with a twinkle in his eyes and he declares that he loves me all the way to the moon and back and back. I will never be able to explain the pride in my heart when he oh-so-patiently tries to explain what's on his mind (Mommy, what I'm saying is...).  And nothing can beat the peace in my soul when he kneels down each morning, and asks Jesus to be in his heart.

I don't really know what God wants me to do next.  I'm content and fulfilled in my current post: being a mommy to my little Roo.  One day I could become a full-time medical transcriptionist. I could finally start a business.  I could perhaps go back to teaching.  I don't know.  Things change.  I change.  One thing I know, mommying Roo is something I will do, with all my heart and soul, for the rest of my life.

Quiet Thoughts

My eyes are still heavy with sleep but my mind is already whirling.  The wind woke me up.  It's a good thing too for it is a lovely morning.  The birds are chirping their early morning praises. I hear the rooster crowing from a distance.  A light shower is refreshing the earth.  Perfect for quiet meditation.

We are at the "tiny" hotel we frequent.  Roo calls it tiny and he has every reason to.  It is perhaps the smallest hotel we've been to.  The parking lot can hold less than twenty cars.  This is the view from my window, and that's all there is to this place.

But we like it.  Not only for it's reasonable price but also that it's new, it's clean, and it's very quiet. It sits at the bottom of a hill in a quiet part of Pattaya.  Before we discovered this haven, I've never really liked the idea of spending the weekend at Pattaya.  I think it's no different than Bangkok.  There are always too many people, and the traffic is just as bad, if not worse.   But we found this place and we got hooked!  And so since we've come here often enough this year, our stay at this time is free!  Yup, they had this promotion when we registered to become members, you stay ten nights, you get one night free.

Yesterday, while walking along the shore, I found some tiny fish.  They weren't breathing anymore, but they were fresh!  Meaning, it looked like they just lost it when they were washed to shore.  Excited to show my catch to my boys, I turned back.  And that's when I noticed the woman.  She was walking towards me with her daughter.  She was carrying this big bag, and every now and then she would pick up something from the sand.  As we met, her eyes darted from my hand to my face, and she beamed me a smile.  I stole a glance at her bag and saw fish and squid inside.  Thinking of contributing my find to their dinner, I hurried to back to Roo and daddy E.  My boys were excited to see the fish; Roo asked if he could touch them and daddy E asked if he could take pictures of them dead fish. I waited as patiently as I could while the daddy snapped picture after picture of the fish on my hand.  Then I hastened back to catch up with the woman, and handed her the fish.  She flashed me a grateful smile, and said "Khap khun khah." That's thank you in Thai.

Many people perhaps would feel sorry for the woman.  Maybe she doesn't have a job.  Maybe her husband doesn't earn enough to feed the family.  Everyday she walks the long stretch of beach, back and forth, several times, to find enough food for her family.  She told us she gets like a kilo of fish some days.  In many ways, I say she's blessed.  I think it's grand that her life is that simple!  She lives by the beach.  She gets to exercise.  She feeds her kids fresh fish without spending a single satang (cent).  What's more, her children get to play on the sand and breathe fresh air day in and day out!  

I wish I could bring that thought further but duty calls.  My boys are awake and it's time for worship.  Take care y'all, hope you have a relaxing Sunday!  

No More Tears, No More Crying Again...

One of my favorite songs about the Advent of Jesus has this line, "No more tears, no more crying again..."  Right now, I yearn for that time more than ever.  That time when we don't have to say goodbyes anymore.  When we don't miss anybody anymore.  When we can all just be together with our loved ones any time we like.

Roo is missing his friend, Gianni.  Very badly.  Ever since Gianni left for the US last Saturday, he's had nightmares, crying and moaning in his sleep.  And when he is awake, he's constantly asking, "Why does Gianni have to go to America?"  "Is he coming back?"  All day long, every few minutes, he'd untiringly ask, "Mommy, where's Gianni?"

We feel sorry for him but there's nothing much we can do about it.  It's part of life here on earth to say goodbye, and I'm sorry that he's learning very early to live with that.  You won't really know the separation affects Roo so much until in the middle of play, he'll blurt out, "I'm sad." These days he cries over his videos ending, or a song ending, or even that of a happy story, when he usually doesn't.  We see his stress from all the rashes that suddenly appeared again, itching him to tears.  I hear it in his early morning demand for his daddy, when he normally just accepts it that daddy is at work when we wakes up.  For the first time, he is not content to be with me, he wants his daddy too, as if scared that daddy would leave him too.

Oh for that day when Jesus would bring all the families and friends together, to part no more! Then and only then would we know how it is to be of no more tears, no more crying over parting!

What's On Your To-Do List?

1.  My last 3 transcriptions (hurray! at the rate I'm going, that will still take two to three weeks.)
2.  Start a part-time transcription job (which means I'll be earning, never mind that it's just in cents, some challenge but less time blogging :()
3.  Plan a short family vacation (where to go? when to go?)

Rain and Rain Away

I can't place exactly when I started liking rain.  I know I haven't always liked it.  When I was small, we weren't allowed to play in the rain because our parents said playing in the rain could make us sick.  And indeed, we always got sick the times we disobeyed and got wet in the rain.  

During my school days, I remember chanting the rhyme, "Rain, rain, go away..."everytime it looked like rain because I didn't like walking in the puddles, and getting all dirty, and because it was so hard to go and come back from school when it rained.  Now that I think about it, it could have been in college that I started to welcome rainy days.  Not because I enjoyed walking in the rain to and from the university, but because the rain gave me an excuse to use up the number of days I was allowed to be absent (in other words, I skipped classes, shhh!).  It was definitely more fun to snuggle in bed with my favorite novel, than to get wet in the rain and shiver in class.

Then when I arrived here in Bangkok, and was on my own for the first time, I became all obsessed--if I may call it that--with walking and playing in the rain.  I was always the only one happy in the office when the skies would open up and pour its great blessing just when we're ready to go home.  Everybody else would scramble to their cars, and hurry home to beat the traffic, while I would refuse any ride, so I could walk, ever so slowly, umbrella-less, home to my apartment. My officemates thought I was crazy!

Okay, so that was just a phase.  I've gotten over that it's-raining-I-just-have-to-get-out-there stage of my life, but the rain still makes me giddy-happy.  I like it especially when my whole family is home and it rains very, very hard!  Gives me a sense of peace, makes me feel safe. It kind of washes away my worries and cares too, like God is telling me, "I AM here for you, you have nothing to worry about."


 
Took this picture at Cha Am beach last Saturday (yes, we were at the beach again! We enjoyed the quiet--seemed like we were one of the few beachbums who love the beach even when it's raining).  Wish I could tell you that those three people under the umbrella were us.  How I envied them!  Daddy E understood the struggle in me and was so kind to ask me, several times, if I'm game.  Sigh.  It looked like so much fun but I'm a mommy now.  I have Roo to think about. The rain was heavy, and the wind was quite strong...it had to be a no-no.



This picture was taken the following day, Sunday.  I tell you, it was eerie! Huge black clouds surrounded our area like we were doomed!  Daddy E snapped pictures like crazy while I watched the rain pour from our window with a big smile on my face.  Rain, rain away...

Look who else enjoyed the rain...



Mr. Snowman!  This grasshead is Roo's first attempt at planting, and I was excited to watch the twinkle in his eyes when he sees the miracle of seeds growing.  We followed the instructions ever so carefully, but I guess Mr. Snowman just didn't get enough water.  Or like Daddy E says, the nutrients of the rain made a difference.  Anyways, a few weeks ago, Roo and I shared a laugh as we counted the snowman's hair with just one hand!  But look at him now!  How he thrived in the refreshing blessing of the rain!

Sleep is Sound When We're at Peace with Each Other

Thank God for Moles!

I've always known that I am special.  That God created me in His own wonderful way.  That every part of the body He designed just for me has its own function.  That even the most tiny parts have their own purpose.  

Even the moles.

I never really appreciated having moles.  There were times I even questioned why I had so many of them.  The flat ones, they're okay, they don't bug me.  But the ones that grow, those are the kind I'd rather not dot my skin.  I've had to go under the knife to remove them twice already.  And that's one too many for me!

Roo, however, made me see things differently.  The other day, I was still snuggling in bed when he jumped out of bed, and knelt down alone for his morning prayer.

"Dear Jesus, thank you for the beautiful world.  Thank you for my mommy's mole.  Thank you for being in my heart today.  Amen."

He thanked God for my mole!  Not just any mole on me, the real mole, he would say.  All the others he calls my pretend moles.  The mole he's grateful for is that tiny black protusion on my left upper arm.  His source of comfort.  When he's sad, or distressed, upset, or frustrated, he comes to me, cuddles and taps the mole until he feels better.  He also loves falling asleep cuddled right next to the mole.  Many times he exclaims, "I love your mole, mommy!"



God must have smiled as He carefully molded the tiny black spot that was to comfort and soothe my son.  He must have enjoyed warm thoughts while He placed that mole on of my arm, knowing the peace and love my little boy would feel as he touches my mole.

God, I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well.