Wait and...

Have you ever sat in traffic for like an hour or two? Or at a doctor's office waiting to be seen? What do you usually do when you're 'stuck' in any of these situation? Well, if you're behind the wheel and you're in Bangkok, there's pretty much nothing you can do but wait. Maybe listen to music, yes. But what if you're just a passenger? Is there something you can do besides wait for the car to go?

This question has crossed my mind several times while waiting for the traffic to clear, and again today while waiting for my name to be called at the hospital. With my first pregnancy, I was spared the waiting because we were then living in the hospital compound, and the nurse would just give me a ring when it was almost my turn to be seen by the doctor. Now we live far from the hospital, plus this hospital is big with a lot of patients, so I have to free up the whole morning just to see the doctor for less than fifteen minutes. I forgot to bring a book with me this morning, and I couldn't find the Bangkok Post anywhere at the waiting area, so I started discussing ideas with MY man who was busy checking emails on his phone. What would be a good time filler at the clinics? I looked around, there were about thirty people waiting to be seen just in one section alone, and think of all those people's wasted time, just sitting there, watching who comes by, and who leaves, patiently waiting for their turn to see the doctor.

Wouldn't it be a good idea if the hospital could provide some sketch pad perhaps, for those who like to doodle? Beadwork or cross-stitch for the waiting mommies? MY man who works at the hospital immediately brushed off my ideas, saying the management will never buy the idea. They wouldn't want patients coming to them with their finished products as evidence of how long they had to wait! But hey, just think of all the time these people waste sitting there doing nothing! We waited for about forty-five minutes at the cashier and pharmacy, and there were like a hundred people there!

This I want to turn into a concept. I don't have any concret idea in mind yet, and it would make a really good business concept to come up with a product that people can do while they're in their cars stuck in traffic, or waiting to be served/seen in some office. Ideas, ideas!

Eating, and Nothing Else but Eating.

More than a week has passed since I last had my face in the toilet and for that I'm most thankful. All the vomiting had my tongue numb and injured from all the acid, not to mention how sensitive my teeth became from it all. I can hardly wait to feel normal again, the nausea still comes and goes so I still go through my days in a daze.

The good news is we finally decided to visit the Pinas in two weeks' time! Right now I eat like every forty-five minutes but the desire to eat is absent--my appetite is practically non-existent. I have this long list of to-eats when we get to Manila, and I'm crossing my fingers that by the time we go, the cravings would have set in. I'm all excited just thinking of all the food I'm missing, and all the shopping I'm going to do! I have to spend at least a day in a bookstore getting Roo all the books he needs--books are just so expensive here we buy most of his story books second hand. I also want to buy preggy clothes.

Now to start the countdown...

How Do I Give?

When you give offerings, how much do you give? When the offering bag comes your way, do you just dig in your pocket and fish out whatever is there and then put it in? Or do you plan for it, have your money ready in an envelope way before it's time to go to church? And when you give your offering, how do you give it?

There's this story in the Bible--one of those which Jesus Himself told to drive home some truths. It's about these two givers who went to the temple to worship. One was a rich man, and as he gave his generous offering, he made sure that his money made this clinkety-clank-clunk sound was heard by every worshiper around. I'm giving my offering, was his loud message. His offering was big, but his heart was not really into the giving, it was focused on something else.

Another giver, a poor woman, looked sadly at her two small coins. It was her last and she felt so small, so desperate, so sorry that she couldn't give more. When the offering plate came her way, she bowed her head, and tried to conceal her offering as well as she could, embarrassed that she could give so little. Yet, Jesus said, this woman gave more. She gave all that she had.

I have yet to tell this story to my son but he has already shown me the meaning of giving all that he had. One morning, just before church, I asked him to prepare his offering. During the week, I would randomly give him 10 baht for keeping his toys, or helping out so as to teach him how to earn money. His dad would also ask him for a massage and pay him the same amount. I have taught him how to set aside his tithes, but the rest of his money, I told him he can spend it any way he want to. So he keeps his little treasure in his money bag.

When I checked on him a while later, he came to me beaming, Mommy, I have so much money! This is my offering! Turns out he emptied his money bag, and stuffed all the coins in his pocket. I said, But you don't have any more money left, are you sure you want to give them all? I had to make sure he knew what he was doing, I didn't want him crying later.

Never mind, mommy, I'm giving it all. I want more heathen children to know about Jesus. I can work again tomorrow, I will wake up really early so I can work.

Ain't that a lesson for mommy to learn? No worries about having no more money left. As long as I give it all to Jesus, I can always work again tomorrow.

Heartwarming.

I wish I can say that I feel a lot better now. But no. As the days go on, my NVP gets even worse. No matter how small my food intake have been, or how frequent/infrequent, I just can't keep food in. Not even water. Even just a sip of water sends me back to the toilet. I've been subsisting on Gatorade for electrolytes. I'm relying on stored nutrients, and perhaps stored fats too, to nourish my growing baby.

Through it all, suffice it to say that I'm becoming weak. And more irritable. God be merciful to me, I don't mean to cry through this difficult time, much less in front of my son. My son, my little angel from heaven, has been very mature through it all, even more mature than his mommy these times, I must say. Every time he sees me heading to the toilet, he'd immediately drop his play, slip into the bathroom door, and before I know it, he'd be patting my back, asking "Are you okay, Mommy?" "I'm here for you, Mommy." At really difficult times when my nausea gets so bad that I'd forget myself and snap back at him or his daddy, he'd say in his most patient and sweet voice, "Mommy, we don't want the baby to hear that kind of voice, remember?" Then last night, when I had just about given up on eating because everything was just coming back out, he cuddled and sweet-talked me all the way to eating the porridge that his daddy couldn't convince me to try. My angel from heaven, my little Roo.

God did not promise us sunshiney days all the time. But through the rainy ones, he provides help. He gives comfort. His grace is ever-present. Just as my son was leaving for church this morning, he gave me a kiss, and then left me with a get-well note that he had painstakingly folded into an envelope: "Mommy, when you feel sad, just open my card, okay? I love you."

I may be not be in tip-top shape right now, but you can bet my heart is all smiles.

Expecting.

I've never seen a happier boy. We were in Pattaya, and on our way to the pharmacy to buy the preg test, our son, ever-inquisitive, asked all the questions as to where, what, why we were making a special trip to the pharmacy. We explained everything, and so when he finally saw the two lines on the strip, joy filled his face. He was so happy, ecstatic that God had heard his prayers for a baby.

Me, I'm still in a daze. Literally. The days have been a blur, the toilet has become my best friend, relieving me of nausea. With my first pregnancy, I was sick in the mornings only. This time, it's all day, and most of the night. My boys have been very supportive, very caring, and I'm thankful for them.

Hope this phase won't last long. I have to think positive. For now, I shall eat, and eat, and eat, even if it means having to let it all out, only to start eating all over again.

This too shall pass.

On Visas

The first time I applied for a visa to the U.S., I was naive and not prepared. Naive to state that I was going there to visit for a month, and not prepared with all the details of my finances. That time, a friend was granted a visa with money in her account not even enough to buy a ticket, so I thought, one bank account showing enough funds for airfare would suffice. I was refused a visa.

From that day on, I never bothered to apply again. Not only because I don't want to risk another refusal and waste good money on the application fee, but mainly because other countries hold more appeal and attraction to my traveling senses. But ever since I got married, MY man has always been trying to invite me to go visit his sister with him.

Well, we're thinking Roo is old enough to travel long-distance now so we finally applied for a US visa. This time I made sure we had all the documents ready, with all the bank books and what not. Because of my previous experience, I had my doubts, thinking there certainly are better ways to spend the thirteen thousand baht plus money we paid for the application fee. MY man assured me I need not worry, the letterhead of the hospital will get us the visa.

Turned out he was right. A total of two questions were asked: "Why are you going?" and "Where are you working?" So much for me lugging all those documents in my bag. Roo was disappointed he didn't get asked. He was all ready with an answer: "I want to go visit my auntie and uncle. And I want to play in the snow!"

So, looks like we'll be heading that way soon! A.Weng, here we come! :D

Silly Mr. Noodle

Elmo is on. I can hear Roo chuckling every now and then, and while I'm engrossed in my own computer time, I can't help but sneak a glance when Elmo starts talking to Mr. Noodle, or Mr. Noodle's brother, Mr. Noodle. Elmo would usually call on to Mr. Noodle whenever he wants to know how something is done, or when he wants an answer to his question. Mr. Noodle, ever a silent character, would then respond to the question, by trial and error. He usually gets the process or answer wrong the first few times, and the way he tries to figure the answer out is just so silly, you will laugh. He is so silly but you can't help but love him!

Mr. Noodle

Mr. Noodle's Brother--Mr. Noodle

Thank you to the Noodle brothers! You sure know how to entertain and educate my son!