Miracles Do Happen

What do you say to a child whose pet is clearly breathing its last few breaths? How do I explain it to my son that no, his fish has not learned to swim upside down, but that it is upside down because it is dying? His voice was full of pride and excitement when he told me that his Dorothy has finally learned to swim upside down like the janitor fish! With my heart jammed in my throat at his news, I rushed to the aquarium and saw his fish floating with its belly up, gasping for breath.

A quick call to MY man had me running to the kitchen. Since I am not able to change the water in the aquarium in my pregnant condition, he suggested that I fish Dorothy out of the aquarium and put him (yes, this Dorothy is a boy ;D) in a bowl. The daddy has been very busy lately and has not made time to change the water in the aquarium, and that could be the reason why Dorothy was dying again (yes, this happened before). I hurriedly scooped Dorothy into a bowl, then transferred him into a tiny aquarium. From the way the fish gasped for breath, it was time to say goodbye. He was mostly floating motionless on his back, and he hardly minded our prodding to get back to his business of swimming. Still, I encouraged Roo to get down on his knees and pray. I told him only a miracle from God can save Dorothy. We prayed together and his initial tearful prayer was this: Dear God, we are sad that Dorothy is dying. Please give us strength to take care of him. Amen.

In my mind, I was praying that God help my boy to accept the reality of death. This would be the second fish that he loved that he would be saying goodbye to, and he is so attached to anything/anyone he loves. I heard him praying again by himself a while later, and while we took turns encouraging the fish to keep swimming, I kept talking to him to make sure he understands that Dorothy might not make it. Just before he took his afternoon nap, he urged me to pray with him again.

My boy didn't make a fuss about napping--he usually does. He dozed right off to dreamland without a trace of worry in his face. His problem is in the hands of God and he trusts that the Creator is faithful in answering prayers. Me, the mommy couldn't even sleep. Never mind that I'm missing my needed rest, never mind that today I'm very tired from walking all morning at the baby fair. I had to check on Dorothy. So as soon as my son started snoring, I slipped out of our room. As I walked into the kitchen, my heart sank-- the fish that was hardly moving, hardly breathing and was floating upside down just before we went into the room, was not moving at all! But as I looked closely into the tank, I noticed that it was on its right-side up! And as I tapped the side of the tank, the Dorothy suddenly snapped into motion, swimming around like it had just awakened from deep sleep! A miracle! Praise the Lord!

The earnest prayer of my little boy was answered once again. I really have a lot to learn about faith from this little child that I am so blessed with.

Girl, Boy, Whatever.

Inspite of the practical side of me and the fact that I just love the way my boy adores me, I've been finding myself praying fervently that God answer my boys' prayers. They really want the baby to be a girl, and for their sakes, I've been wanting the baby to be a girl too. Maybe it won't be so bad to have a princess in our family--would sure teach my Roo to be more gentle. I know I would enjoy shopping for a girl--there are just so many cute and adorable outfits everywhere just waiting to be picked off the shelf. And it would perhaps be a welcome change to have a baby who wouldn't be all over the place all the time she's awake, just like the older brother, that is, if she won't be anything like my Roo. I envision my princess, quietly reading in her corner, or playing with her dolls without turning our place upside down. Such bliss that would be!

But after the visit with the sonographer, alas my hopes have been taking a nosedive, and I'm trying ever so hard to believe that things could still turn around. While it is still too early to tell definitely the gender of the baby, we saw 'something' several times that could mean we're getting Roo a brother. The doctor didn't want to confirm it but like MY man says, it's more like 80% positive that we're having another boy. I didn't know how to break the news to my little man, and when I did it, he was busy romping around with his lolo. When the news finally sank in and we were getting ready for bed that night, he had tears in his eyes, and he was fighting not to cry over the disappointing news. Despite that though, he's been telling people ever since that he might be getting a brother. But when he's alone with me, he talks about how sad he is that he cannot have a sister. My heart goes out to him, and I wish I have the power to give him what he wants. We keep telling him God knows what's best for him, and that we should be happy no matter what the baby is, we'll love him/her for who/what he/she is. And while there's still a chance that we might be wrong, the big brother is slowly starting to accept it, and talks about the games he will play with his brother. Whenever we discuss names, and we'd suggest a girl's name, he'd remind us that we should be thinking of boys' names instead because the baby is a brother. My little Roo sure is showing maturity that I'm so proud of--I don't have any doubts that he is going to be a wonderful big brother!

Happy 2010

A blessed and happy new year everyone!

We're safely back in the land of smiles--the trip was too short; too many family and friends we were not able to meet, still too many dishes we haven't tried (mainly because MY man specialized in eating bangus for almost every meal), and too much shopping money leftover (read: holiday crowd gave me the dizzies every time I attempted to do some shopping)--but we had a great and relaxing time in the homeland. It was just heavenly to be back in a place where help abounds, so we woke up to the inviting smells of breakfast every morning, we didn't have to worry a thing about cleaning up, nor doing any laundry. For the four days we were there, we were spoiled to the max, thanks to Sara and N. Flor!

'Twas refreshing too to have spent some time with my mom's sisters, and cousins who didn't go home to Roxas--felt good to have laughed like the old times, and catch up on each other's news. Roo had such great fun romping around and playing with his cousins, he didn't want to leave! He played and played with the boys, riding trikes, building blocks, blowing bubbles, painting pictures, building forts, kicking and shooting balls, the whole afternoon we spent at their place till he was dead batt. His daddy had to eat dinner with one hand, and hold him with the other hand as he snored and recharged all through dinner.

Can hardly wait till we get to go back--next time around, we hope to stay longer so we can get to meet everybody.

Hope you all are starting the new year with smiles! Have a blessed and wonderful 2010!

Selling or Begging?

I first noticed the boy as I was walking towards the taxi queue. He was a chubby one, between ten to twelve years old, dressed in an over-sized dirty tee shirt and short pants. In his hand was a bunch of stringed sampaguita flowers which he was trying to sell to a lady waiting in line. For a minute or two after that, my attention riveted to how long the queue was, and how long it would take for us to get a cab to go home. Exhausted from walking in the mall for about two hours, this pregnant mommy was all but ready for a nice, warm shower.

The next time I saw him, he was about two feet behind me. This time, he was sitting down on the curb, still holding on to his flowers. Then and there, he got my full attention. His tears were flowing down his cheeks and he was wiping them furiously with his free hand. I glanced at MY man who was in the queue with Roo--they were about five feet away from me and he mouthed something which I couldn't really decipher. When they finally reached the point where I was standing, MY man explained to me that he overheard the boy telling the woman that he'd get beaten if he doesn't sell off the flowers. Whether that was true, or just an act which is really hard to tell, we don't know until now. What I know is, parental instinct hit me, and I wondered why his parents would do that to him--started imagining my Roo in the same situation and my eyes watered. MY man reached into his pocket, got fifty pesos out, and handed it to the boy. Still sobbing, he accepted the money, then counted five strings, with about five scrawny-looking flowers in each string, and gave them to us. That was the last we saw of him as we finally reached the end of the line and took a taxi home.

There's a big chance that the boy was part of a scam, that the crying was all an act to sell the flowers and make money. Or to give the boy the benefit of the doubt, his lazy parents, or whoever was in charge of him, was just using him to get money from people. Not exactly begging, but it could still pass as another form of begging.

Oh that children be spared from this heartless practice!

Wait and...

Have you ever sat in traffic for like an hour or two? Or at a doctor's office waiting to be seen? What do you usually do when you're 'stuck' in any of these situation? Well, if you're behind the wheel and you're in Bangkok, there's pretty much nothing you can do but wait. Maybe listen to music, yes. But what if you're just a passenger? Is there something you can do besides wait for the car to go?

This question has crossed my mind several times while waiting for the traffic to clear, and again today while waiting for my name to be called at the hospital. With my first pregnancy, I was spared the waiting because we were then living in the hospital compound, and the nurse would just give me a ring when it was almost my turn to be seen by the doctor. Now we live far from the hospital, plus this hospital is big with a lot of patients, so I have to free up the whole morning just to see the doctor for less than fifteen minutes. I forgot to bring a book with me this morning, and I couldn't find the Bangkok Post anywhere at the waiting area, so I started discussing ideas with MY man who was busy checking emails on his phone. What would be a good time filler at the clinics? I looked around, there were about thirty people waiting to be seen just in one section alone, and think of all those people's wasted time, just sitting there, watching who comes by, and who leaves, patiently waiting for their turn to see the doctor.

Wouldn't it be a good idea if the hospital could provide some sketch pad perhaps, for those who like to doodle? Beadwork or cross-stitch for the waiting mommies? MY man who works at the hospital immediately brushed off my ideas, saying the management will never buy the idea. They wouldn't want patients coming to them with their finished products as evidence of how long they had to wait! But hey, just think of all the time these people waste sitting there doing nothing! We waited for about forty-five minutes at the cashier and pharmacy, and there were like a hundred people there!

This I want to turn into a concept. I don't have any concret idea in mind yet, and it would make a really good business concept to come up with a product that people can do while they're in their cars stuck in traffic, or waiting to be served/seen in some office. Ideas, ideas!

Eating, and Nothing Else but Eating.

More than a week has passed since I last had my face in the toilet and for that I'm most thankful. All the vomiting had my tongue numb and injured from all the acid, not to mention how sensitive my teeth became from it all. I can hardly wait to feel normal again, the nausea still comes and goes so I still go through my days in a daze.

The good news is we finally decided to visit the Pinas in two weeks' time! Right now I eat like every forty-five minutes but the desire to eat is absent--my appetite is practically non-existent. I have this long list of to-eats when we get to Manila, and I'm crossing my fingers that by the time we go, the cravings would have set in. I'm all excited just thinking of all the food I'm missing, and all the shopping I'm going to do! I have to spend at least a day in a bookstore getting Roo all the books he needs--books are just so expensive here we buy most of his story books second hand. I also want to buy preggy clothes.

Now to start the countdown...

How Do I Give?

When you give offerings, how much do you give? When the offering bag comes your way, do you just dig in your pocket and fish out whatever is there and then put it in? Or do you plan for it, have your money ready in an envelope way before it's time to go to church? And when you give your offering, how do you give it?

There's this story in the Bible--one of those which Jesus Himself told to drive home some truths. It's about these two givers who went to the temple to worship. One was a rich man, and as he gave his generous offering, he made sure that his money made this clinkety-clank-clunk sound was heard by every worshiper around. I'm giving my offering, was his loud message. His offering was big, but his heart was not really into the giving, it was focused on something else.

Another giver, a poor woman, looked sadly at her two small coins. It was her last and she felt so small, so desperate, so sorry that she couldn't give more. When the offering plate came her way, she bowed her head, and tried to conceal her offering as well as she could, embarrassed that she could give so little. Yet, Jesus said, this woman gave more. She gave all that she had.

I have yet to tell this story to my son but he has already shown me the meaning of giving all that he had. One morning, just before church, I asked him to prepare his offering. During the week, I would randomly give him 10 baht for keeping his toys, or helping out so as to teach him how to earn money. His dad would also ask him for a massage and pay him the same amount. I have taught him how to set aside his tithes, but the rest of his money, I told him he can spend it any way he want to. So he keeps his little treasure in his money bag.

When I checked on him a while later, he came to me beaming, Mommy, I have so much money! This is my offering! Turns out he emptied his money bag, and stuffed all the coins in his pocket. I said, But you don't have any more money left, are you sure you want to give them all? I had to make sure he knew what he was doing, I didn't want him crying later.

Never mind, mommy, I'm giving it all. I want more heathen children to know about Jesus. I can work again tomorrow, I will wake up really early so I can work.

Ain't that a lesson for mommy to learn? No worries about having no more money left. As long as I give it all to Jesus, I can always work again tomorrow.