Heartwarming.

I wish I can say that I feel a lot better now. But no. As the days go on, my NVP gets even worse. No matter how small my food intake have been, or how frequent/infrequent, I just can't keep food in. Not even water. Even just a sip of water sends me back to the toilet. I've been subsisting on Gatorade for electrolytes. I'm relying on stored nutrients, and perhaps stored fats too, to nourish my growing baby.

Through it all, suffice it to say that I'm becoming weak. And more irritable. God be merciful to me, I don't mean to cry through this difficult time, much less in front of my son. My son, my little angel from heaven, has been very mature through it all, even more mature than his mommy these times, I must say. Every time he sees me heading to the toilet, he'd immediately drop his play, slip into the bathroom door, and before I know it, he'd be patting my back, asking "Are you okay, Mommy?" "I'm here for you, Mommy." At really difficult times when my nausea gets so bad that I'd forget myself and snap back at him or his daddy, he'd say in his most patient and sweet voice, "Mommy, we don't want the baby to hear that kind of voice, remember?" Then last night, when I had just about given up on eating because everything was just coming back out, he cuddled and sweet-talked me all the way to eating the porridge that his daddy couldn't convince me to try. My angel from heaven, my little Roo.

God did not promise us sunshiney days all the time. But through the rainy ones, he provides help. He gives comfort. His grace is ever-present. Just as my son was leaving for church this morning, he gave me a kiss, and then left me with a get-well note that he had painstakingly folded into an envelope: "Mommy, when you feel sad, just open my card, okay? I love you."

I may be not be in tip-top shape right now, but you can bet my heart is all smiles.

Expecting.

I've never seen a happier boy. We were in Pattaya, and on our way to the pharmacy to buy the preg test, our son, ever-inquisitive, asked all the questions as to where, what, why we were making a special trip to the pharmacy. We explained everything, and so when he finally saw the two lines on the strip, joy filled his face. He was so happy, ecstatic that God had heard his prayers for a baby.

Me, I'm still in a daze. Literally. The days have been a blur, the toilet has become my best friend, relieving me of nausea. With my first pregnancy, I was sick in the mornings only. This time, it's all day, and most of the night. My boys have been very supportive, very caring, and I'm thankful for them.

Hope this phase won't last long. I have to think positive. For now, I shall eat, and eat, and eat, even if it means having to let it all out, only to start eating all over again.

This too shall pass.

On Visas

The first time I applied for a visa to the U.S., I was naive and not prepared. Naive to state that I was going there to visit for a month, and not prepared with all the details of my finances. That time, a friend was granted a visa with money in her account not even enough to buy a ticket, so I thought, one bank account showing enough funds for airfare would suffice. I was refused a visa.

From that day on, I never bothered to apply again. Not only because I don't want to risk another refusal and waste good money on the application fee, but mainly because other countries hold more appeal and attraction to my traveling senses. But ever since I got married, MY man has always been trying to invite me to go visit his sister with him.

Well, we're thinking Roo is old enough to travel long-distance now so we finally applied for a US visa. This time I made sure we had all the documents ready, with all the bank books and what not. Because of my previous experience, I had my doubts, thinking there certainly are better ways to spend the thirteen thousand baht plus money we paid for the application fee. MY man assured me I need not worry, the letterhead of the hospital will get us the visa.

Turned out he was right. A total of two questions were asked: "Why are you going?" and "Where are you working?" So much for me lugging all those documents in my bag. Roo was disappointed he didn't get asked. He was all ready with an answer: "I want to go visit my auntie and uncle. And I want to play in the snow!"

So, looks like we'll be heading that way soon! A.Weng, here we come! :D

Silly Mr. Noodle

Elmo is on. I can hear Roo chuckling every now and then, and while I'm engrossed in my own computer time, I can't help but sneak a glance when Elmo starts talking to Mr. Noodle, or Mr. Noodle's brother, Mr. Noodle. Elmo would usually call on to Mr. Noodle whenever he wants to know how something is done, or when he wants an answer to his question. Mr. Noodle, ever a silent character, would then respond to the question, by trial and error. He usually gets the process or answer wrong the first few times, and the way he tries to figure the answer out is just so silly, you will laugh. He is so silly but you can't help but love him!

Mr. Noodle

Mr. Noodle's Brother--Mr. Noodle

Thank you to the Noodle brothers! You sure know how to entertain and educate my son!

Of Birthdays and Presents

What do I want for my birthday? To travel would be the first thing off my mind, maybe. Other than that, I am not in "want" of anything right now. I'm in good health, my boys are happy and healthy. My dad and my siblings are all doing well. Nothing I can ask for really. Oh, maybe a good eight to ten-hour straight sleep! That would do! That's officially my birthday wish for this year.

Yesterday morning, my son borrowed my cell phone to call his dad--he asked his dad to bring him out so he can go shopping for mommy's present. I tagged along, but after dinner, Roo declared that I should go somewhere else so he can buy me a surprise gift. That was totally fine with me, it's not very often that my son gives me the freedom to be all alone by myself--you see, we are like twins, the siamese conjoined kind, that go together everywhere. When we met up about half an hour later, he was beside himself with excitement!

Mommy! I bought you a birthday present, here, open it!

He knows my birthday is not til Thursday yet, but he just can't wait! He told his dad that he was sure mommy would love his present. And so, the whole evening after we got home, and the rest of the night before bedtime, and right after he woke up this morning, I had to listen to the same thing. Through the whole discussion that it's not my birthday yet, I managed to 'guess' what he got me, and he had to convince me to think it's something else, so that I will still be surprised. Bless his heart, my dear, adorable Roo!

Oh well, he pleaded, and begged, and implored with tears in his eyes for me to open his present. Now! Guess why? He got a toy for mommy, and he wants mommy to share it with him! Ha, ha! We finally agreed that we'll open it tonight, actually, he'll open it for me. It will be the perfect present for me I know, just anticipating the joy in his eyes when he finally can get to "share" his present with me.

Peace Amidst the Storm

Thunder is rolling in the distance, the sky is gloomy and dark. Rains are on the way, but somehow I welcome the shower that will soon refresh the earth. These past few weeks have been busy with planning, planning, and planning. Till now none of our anniversary trip plans have gelled. Disasters and natural calamities everywhere have blocked our travel plans. So we might just stay put this year, and settle for a quiet dinner instead. Maybe at the Sukhothai--where it all started, where we got married.

After all the frenzy of life's ups and downs this week, I long to sit still--and just be. I leave you with this verse: "Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

Hope Amidst Disasters

Still reeling from all the horrors of the destruction that typhoon Ketsana caused in the Philippines, yesterday morning, I woke up to news of an earthquake and a tsunami in Samoa. More than one hundred people died, and others were swept to sea, still missing until now. Today, another earthquake occurred in Indonesia.

One after another, these calamities come and leave behind such heart-wrenching devastation that my soul can't help but cry out, "Lord, how long? How much longer till you come and all these can end?"

Luke 21:11 says, "There will be great earthquakes, famines and pestilences in various places, and fearful events and great signs from heaven."

So is this the time Jesus was talking about? I believe so. The time is near. The time is here. Isn't that wonderful? There's hope beyond the horizon. In the same chapter in Luke, Jesus goes on to say, "When these things begin to take place, stand up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near."

Praise the Lord!

In the meantime, let's do what we can to help the people who are suffering from all these disasters. The Philippine Embassy here in Bangkok accepts donations (dry/canned food, blankets, clothing, etc.) for the typhoon victims, from 9am - 5pm, weekdays.

Click this link if you're situated in other parts of the world and you want to do your share.